Horrible product naming.

Recently, I’ve started reading some of the spam that comes through my inbox (reading my actual email is much less interesting). It’s come to my attention that Spammers have an even worse mastery of product marketing than they do of the English language. This is, by far, the worst ad I’ve seen yet.

Marketing is (not) exciting!!

This morning, my inbox was warmed by an email from our marketing team, letting me know that, tomorrow, the company will be launching a ‘New and Exciting Marketing campaign,’ and asking us to ‘keep [our] eyes focused on the marketing website for exciting details.’

I don’t know why they send these emails to the development staff. I’ve never actually seen a marketing campaign that I would consider to be ‘exciting’. My excitement levels are elevated by lower compile times and hot fixes; not flash animations and buzzwords.

The best idea I could come up with for something that would get me excited would be the ‘Help us help ourselves (to dinner)’ campaign. During this campaign, anytime a customer buys a product, a developer gets a steak. Maintenance renewals are paid out in beer; a sixer for each year of the agreement.

I don’t know if this kind of campaign would improve the company‚Äôs bottom line in anyway – but it’s certainly a marketing idea I could get behind.