Colour flunkees in shopping town

The wife told me last night that she was planning on going shopping today. She asked to borrow my credit card. I told her that the credit card stays with me.

I went shopping today.

I hadn’t planned on going, but upon The Wife’s insistence that ‘she is not a shopper’ and that ‘we would only be gone an hour or so’ I figured it couldn’t be all that bad. As long as we were quick I figured I could deal with it. Overall, I hate shopping downtown. The two most annoying things are dealing with the people, and dealing with the fashion.

The people you can work around. As long as you draw yourself up to look really big and intimidating (I use The Wife for that) then the rest of the mindless horde tends to move out of your way.

As far as the fashion goes, there’s not really much that you can do about that. I don’t know who does the buying for these places, but the system has to change. A few suggestions that I thought of include:

– include all sizes from 0 – 18 in your store. There are people who will wear them.
– mislabel the sizes by one level. So that a size 8 says 6 on it, or a size 12 says 10. i gaurantee you will get more business that way.
– hire sales people (I’m looking at you, HBC)
– if your entire sales staff speaks only chinese, open your store in china town, or maybe Richmond.
– put chairs outside of the ladies changerooms
– better yet, put a mini-bar oustide of the ladies changerooms. if they can figure it out in Mexico, surely we can work it out here.
– if I cannot buy beer with it, it’s not legal currency. Thus, I do not want your gift cards, store credits, or gift certificates in exchange for the product that I just paid cash for.
– if a bag or a purse has someone elses initial written all over it, it should not be $400.
– if you are carrying a bag or a purse with someone elses initials written all over it, please keep in mind that you look like you robbed a special needs child.
– This is Vancouver. We don’t have ‘seasonal wear.’ The following items should be available all year: sweatshirts, shorts, t-shirts, long sleeve tee’s, cleats, running shoes, sandals.
– Your clothes should not look as though they failed colour school. If every colour that you carry in your store needs at least one adjective in order to describe it, you have a problem. (off-pink, pale burgundy, off-pastel-ocean teal, etc.)

Anyhow. To make a long story short, 6 hours and a new wardrobe later we arrived home. I called my wife a liar (there’s a shopper in there somewhere), and put her on a plane to Quebec.

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