I sort-of moved in to my new apartment on Saturday. I say sort-of, because I still haven’t met the landlord, received keys, or completed the inspection report. I’m not very happy with the state of things.

When I first got to the building, I asked a lady who lived there to let me in.

“Oh, are you moving in?” She asks.

“Yes!” I say, still excited about my new move, “I move in today.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. You’re making a big mistake. Well, have a nice day dearie.” And then she dissapeared in the elevator.

The next wonderful thing that happened is that I was given the keys to the wrong apartment. Well, kind of. See, when I talked with the Landlord over the phone, he told me that I was to move into apartment 704. When I spoke with him later that day, and then again to his assistant, I was to move in to apartment 704. When I opened the door to 704, I found shoes, a bike, and a couch sitting in my apartment. A few minutes later, I also found a girl named Now. Now was very nice, but didn’t understand why I was in her apartment. Neither did I.

As it turns out, I actually rented apartment 705. Nobody noticed the off-by-one error except Now and myself. So I went back downstairs, swapped keys with the assistant landlord, and moved in to 705.

Since moving into apartment 705, I have noticed several problems.

• The bathtub doesn’t drain
• The toilet doesn’t flush well (but he did throw in a free plunger)
• There is a hole in the roof
• The Fire alarm doesn’t work
• There was a layer of black mold around all of the windows
• All of the ducts are blocked by 4 mm of solid dust
• The fan in the bathroom doesn’t work
• The fan in the kitchen doesn’t work
• The Oven doesn’t work
• The whole place hadn’t really been cleaned
• I still don’t have a key to the front building, or my door. Just a deadbolt key.
• The sink is contantly running
• If you turn the cold water on in the kitchen, the tap sprays you in the crotch with cold water
• When he painted, he didn’t strip the old stuff. He just painted over mold, cracked paint, electrical pannels, outlets, etc.
• He patched a whole in the roof of the bathroom, but didn’t bother to paint
• Half of the windows in my apartment won’t open.
• The other half won’t close
• I didn’t get the blinds he promised me
• He said he’d strip and refinish the hardwood floor. Guess what he didn’t do.
• The tiles in the kitchen are not attached to the floor

There are a few other things that escape me right now.

On the plus side, it has a killer view.

After spending a bit of time in the place, I went and found a new apartment down the street. I’m not sure how that’s going to work out for me yet. I still have to get a hold of the tennants rights association to see what rights I have with respect to moving out on the same day that I moved in.

Admittedly, I am partly to blame for taking a place that I hadn’t seen. But it sounded really good on paper, and I asked all of the right questions to my landlord, he just lied to me about the state the place would be in when I got there.

Ah well, at least the view is nice.